The Goodfella

Can't Bank On It

I got a call from my bank today because my checking account was overdrawn, but not to worry, they said, because I have overdraft protection and no checks would bounce. They transferred the minimum of $25.00 from my savings into my checking to cover a small check, and the fee is $5.00 for the transfer. $5.00. Thank you bank, for doing this because otherwise, I would have had a bounced check which would have cost me $34.00, and another fee at the other end, and on and on. So, I should be thankful, right?  Well I'm not. What an ingrate I am. Why? Well, the five bucks I paid for the transfer amounts to an interest rate of 20%, or an annual interest rate of about 7200 per cent. Remember, I only had the money for one day-technically. What's more shocking is that it was my money- it came from my savings account! They're charging me to transfer the money. Probably a three second task and one button push on a computer if its not already automated. What a rip-off! Out of principal, I would have felt better if they bounced the check. I mean, let 'em work for their money!  I been with this bank for a long time. What happened to the days when they paid the check, and when I went in next time, I covered it. I 'm not asking them to cover a $10,000 check for a down payment on a car, I'm asking for one day on $28.00.  Well, that's the new customer service for you, "We'll be glad to help you" say the banks, "for a fee".  The only thing they're helping me do is empty my wallet.

Now, we've all been reading that the banks are having a terrible time with this sub-prime lending thing. They're are laying off staff, and some have to bailed out with government cash. We don't need another depression in this country, especially in this day and and age. You'll have mount a machine gun on your house to protect yourself if that happens. But, with all the fees the banks charge, why the hell are they having problems. What about Mr. and Mrs. American citizen? What if they need help? Is the government going to bail them out? Oh wait, we did get our stimulus checks. Kind of a small bailout for the common folk. They paid off bills they got from the bank with it!  I mean what the frig was that all about?   

My 87 year old mother lived during the great depression, and says,"Screw the banks". If things go bad they're going to keep the money. They did it before. Keep your money with you. In your house. And that's exactly what she does. Maybe she has a point. The banks pay about 2% interest on savings, so unless you have a large amount, why not keep it. She keeps just enough in small free checking just to pay a couple bills.  Sure, the house can burn down, or you can get robbed, but, my 87 year old mother would probably beat someone to death with her wooden spoon if you try and rob her. What's the point of paying all those fees if you don't have to. What's the point in giving it to a bank if they can't even manage themselves?

Now, I know we're not all an 87 year old grandmother, and most of us need a bank to cash our payroll checks, and pay bills, but something has got to change.  The banks need to service they're customers, not fee them to death. Yes, the banks need to make money to operate, but not to the point of being loan sharks. I think my Uncle Vito would charge me less in fees. He'd break my legs if i didn't pay, but I'd have more money.  The banks will tell you they have to protect themselves from bad check writers, and people that don't pay their loans, and unlike Vito they can't break a leg. They just wreck your FICO score. That's worse than the damn broken leg. I know girls that won't even date a guy if his score falls below 700. More on this in a future post. Now,I can't blame the banks for being careful, but a majority of customers just want good service. No seven day holds on checks, no fees because you look bad on the surveillance cameras. No late fees on late fees and no, and I love this one, "your interest rate on your credit card has changed from 9% to 39% because you were late three hours on you payment". That's a happened to couple people I know.  How pathetic.

The banks need us more than we need them. So next time your account is a little overdrawn, go down to the bank manager and say, "Look ,work with me here, I'm a customer, not a bank robber. Take your late fee and shove it. If you treat me right, I might do more business with you , or deposit more money in your bank. At the very least, I won't send my cousin Frank in here for a loan because he's a flake and won't pay you back".  Of. course the bank will say, "No, send him in, because if his credit score stinks we can charge him a higher interest rate, and more fees, and the government will bail us out when he defaults anyway".   Go figure.

Stimulate Me!

By now, a lot of people have received their government stimulus checks. These checks are supposed to stimulate the "stuck in shit" economy.  Everyone, the government hopes, will to go out and spend this money to keep things moving. And they are. On food and gasoline. Why? Well our government did such a good job on our economy, that two staples of American life, food and fuel ,have gone through the roof. I mean, they were expecting us to buy a new car with the money? Maybe a down payment on a house?  How far could the money go? Some of us probably saved it, which is a good thing, and some of us who have ample incomes, are probably blowing it as a down payment on a Rolex watch. Most of us though, spent it at Wal-Mart and Costco, according to the the news. Food, cheap clothes, and gas.

I've got another problem with this stimulus thing. Wasn't that our money to begin with? If we didn't spend it, wouldn't a lot of the cash have gone to new $2,500 toilet seats for the space shuttle, or maybe it would have bought a few scud missiles for the war in Iraq. By the way, it's hard to take a crap in space, since the seats have to vacuum seal. No astronaut wants shit floating around the space shuttle, you know, with that zero gravity thing and all. Either way, it was our tax money that the government got, and then gave us back some. They would have spent it anyway, so wouldn't  that have stimulated the economy?   Of course, its always better in our hands than theirs. No offense against astronauts, but they can crap in a plastic bag for all I care. Stimulate the economy, though? Who's kidding who? The cash returned to the taxpayers will be gone 24 hours after they get it. It will stimulate things for about two days. About 60 per cent of the checks went out by the date I wrote this, and the stock market went down, my neighbor is still behind on his mortgage payments, and I still owe money on my car. Nothing has really changed that much, except that Wal-Mart and Costco are a lot happier.

If the jerks on Capitol Hill really wanted to stimulate things, maybe the checks should have been around five thousand bucks. Now that's something. Maybe someone would have used that for a down payment on a car, or spent it traveling this summer to offset the high airline tickets. Perhaps the government could have controlled fuel prices, so the cost of a couple tanks of gas wasn't equal to half the check they sent you. Maybe they should quit bailing out the banks that made bad loans, and sent that money to the taxpayer, or try and keep as many jobs as possible on our own soil. Now you're talkin'!  No matter how you look at, this was about politics. It's looks good that the politicians are helping the taxpayer. Checks in the mail are always a sedative for anyone who's pissed off that a box of cereal now costs five bucks. I don't even get that, its cereal- what the hell is in it? A bag of groceries can run sixty bucks. Imagine some poor working guy with a wife and three kids. Boy, that check went fast!

So what do we do? Write to these idiots in D.C. and tell them to stimulate this! Quit blowing our tax money on bullshit, and make it work for the good. Get back to a government "By and For the People". Yeah, I know I've used that one before, but that what it's supposed to be. Vote out the bad ones, and if we can find one, put a good one in office. Even if we can't find a good one, vote to keep the tide turning, and maybe when they figure out they can't get re-elected unless they actually do something, they'll change.

As for me, I didn't even get a check because I owed a few hundred bucks from my last years taxes. You can't get away with anything these days. I guess I'll just have to stimulate myself!

A Paradigm Shift

Obama. McCain. Obama. McCain. Obama. McCain. Daffy Duck. Wait a minute ! I was thinking about the Presidential candidates and all of a sudden Daffy Duck pops into my head ! Why?  Maybe I've reached a new low in apathy. Maybe because it doesn't matter. Maybe, just maybe, I'm beginning to realize neither one of these two will really make that much of a difference. Maybe Daffy Duck would do a better job. I know you think I'm cracking up, but let's look at couple things.

Let's start with the bureaucracy. It's a big machine full of everything from Senators who have been around since the dawn of man, to some high-level department head in some agency that doesn't give a rats ass who the President is because they can never be fired, (unless somebody posts their picture on the Internet of them having sex with something- thats something not someone). They won't quit because they are probably making almost what the President does in salary and benefits, and they love their power. They'll be there through three Presidents, or more. They are the ones with true power. The power to tell the citizens, "Follow the rules-or else", or, "You think I work for you ? What do you think this is, a government by and for the people?"

Next, lets look at the candidates. It really doesn't matter whether it's McCain or Obama, or anyone. No candidate is going to rock the boat far enough to upset his party, or his big money supporters. Why should they? It's a an eight year maximum ride in the White House, and unless that Internet thing I mentioned earlier pops up, his popularity may go down, but he'll still be there. Our current President is still there, regardless of his all time low popularity, and our last one, was impeached (that was close to the Internet thing!), and some say he was one of the most popular ever.  What? You were expecting McCain or Obama to actually change things? In the early months of their tenure, they will do some things to prove their worth. It's called the honeymoon period. The economy will pickup, some policy changes to help the working man, maybe more war or peace depending on how they guage the reaction of the voters. But, a paradigm shift ? It won't happen. Not this time. Maybe not ever. Not with the forever standard Democrat/Republican, or what ever party kind of President. No I'm not voting for any independents either. They too will get stopped in their tracks by the long standing establishment. I know your thinking I'm disgruntled- actually pissed off is a better term. Yes, I will vote, even if its to write in my name (hmm?), or Daffy Duck.

Going back to that paradigm shift I mentioned earlier- now thats the ticket. We need a leader who can radically alter the path we're on to bring us back to the way we were. Not some whacko, but a leader who can make the USA the great entity it was. Don't get me wrong, I love this country, but we need to get back on track before we lose it. It has to start in the White House. A person like the forefathers who made this country. Now that was a paradigm shift. It needs to filter down to all levels of government. State and local. Ever tried to get a permit to add a room to your house? I had to go through four local agencies just to get it approved, and pay these ridiculous permit fees, just to add a friggen 14 x20 room. Must have added ten grand to the overall cost. I'm all for safety, but give me a break. That's the kind of BS in government that needs to be changed.

I want to see a government that protects me from the bad I can't see, or deal with. Protect me from invaders and crime, protect me from tainted food, build a nationwide infrastructure that keeps us alive and moving. Don't protect me from myself, don't tax me to death just so some bureaucrat can keep his overpaid job. By and for the people. It's simple. Common sense is all it takes.

I promise not to write in Daffy Duck, that shift might be a little much. It's nice to think that one of the candidates might actually do more than rubber stamp a bunch of laws that makes life tougher. I just don't know if it will happen with these guys, or in my life time.  Jefferson, Washington, and the rest of the founding clan have got to be spinning like lathes over a lot of things. All said and done though, maybe I'll vote for.................. Forget it, I need to keep thinking about this. 

Once, Twice, SOLD ! at $5.00 per Gallon

Okay, I've got to weigh in on this gas price situation. I know that half the editorials, news reports, and blogs across the country have already beat this subject to death, but I couldn't hold out any longer.

You see, I'm one of those people that drive a big gas-guzzling vehicle. A Chevy Suburban to be exact. When I bought it, I was divorced with a grown son. I don't know what I was thinking, but I like big cars, and many times take friends to a ballgame or on some road trip because the truck carries up to eight people. Actually, since most of my friends drive Hondas and Toyotas, they seek me out for the road trips because I have the biggest car. In fact, since I'm not at at my ideal weight (ahem!), I don't think I could even fit in most Hondas. The Suburban rides like a dream; safe, comfortable, and gets a miserable 14MPG. It also has an extended range 32 gallon tank. Now, you do the math at $4.50 per gallon average price in Northern California, and you'll know why I had to take out a home equity loan to fill up the damn truck!  Don't be too hard on me now, because I bought the SUV in 2005, and gas averaged around $1.78 a gallon. How the hell was I supposed to know?  If I could have predicted the future, I'd be a millionaire off the options market, and wouldn't give a crap what the price of gas was. Now I'm stuck with it. No dealer wants to trade without me losing my ass.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. "Tough", you're saying, "you bought the beast. Too bad."  Some argue," Hey quit whining, if you calculate out a cup of coffee at Starbucks, it's about $16.00 per gallon"- or-" In France, or England, they pay about $9.00 per gallon for gas".  Yeah, well I say, bullshit!  First of all I don't drink Starbucks by the gallon, (I'd never get out of the bathroom if I did!) , second I don't need Starbucks. But I need my gas. For work, or to go to the store, or doctor. Its a necessity. Mass transit, or a bicycle, is not always convenient, or accessible. At least not for me. As far as England or France goes, both those countries are about the size of some our states. They have had transit systems in place since Moses wore short pants, and are highly accessible. Many people there, are already, and have been, riding scooters, and three wheeled sausage mobiles for decades. Their consumption of fuel is nowhere near that  of the United States. So, yes, we should be getting a volume discount. A big one. OPEC or not, most of the refineries and fuel distributors are American companies.

So whats the solution? Drill more oil in Alaska? The environmentalists would hate me, (they're not happy now because of my SUV). Drill more offshore of California and the Gulf. More environmental protests. Save the whales. Find an alternative fuel? That's one solution everybody wants but,- which fuel. My Suburban will run on ethanol, but the closest station is in Nebraska, and I hear it's about $3.95 per gallon. Whoopee, I save about 15 friggen cents per gallon. How about steal the crude? Our military is already over in the Middle East, so lets take a few tankers. After all, we're always there protecting them anyway. Our men are dying to keep them safe. Get a squad together and take a few tankers back!  Yeah! Well, maybe that's not feasible.

I could go on, but really what it boils down to is greed. Simple plain old greed. The oils companies have never seen higher profits. The guys in the white sheets, (the OPEC guys, not the Klan), have never had a better life. C'mon George and the rest of the Capitol Hill gang, wake up.  We know you know. I have no problem with capitalism and companies profiting, but when they hurt all of us, its a different story. I don't want to hear about supply and demand. I don't want to hear about market conditions. It's GREED! Knock it friggen off. Its not profiting, it's extortion.

We need to try and approach all solutions. The government needs to look at some price control. Yes, we need to drill more on our own turf,(sorry Orca). We need to find alternative fuels, and we need to conserve. All political and social groups need to give in a little to resolve this. But these things take time, so we need to start now. When we have more control over this, our wallets and lives will be happier. It may help save the U.S. economy. If we don't, $5.00 per gallon is coming, and we all suffer. No more plane trips, no more road trips. Less money for food and those things that add quality to our lives. And at $5.00 per gallon, then I will have to lose weight (a good thing), so I can fit into a Smartcar!!  Okay, maybe a Ford Focus.

   

Can't Touch This !

Beginning in California, July 1st, 2008, you have to have a hands free device to use your cell phone in your car. Most states already have this law in effect. In those states, including California, however, it's not illegal to text while driving ! How the hell did they miss that one !  I mean if you're going to ban holding the phone in you hand, you have to ban touching the phone at all. But wait;  what about dialing?  If your phone doesn't have voice dial, you still have to touch the phone to dial !  Touch this, don't touch that, I mean, what the frig is it all about?

This is another half cocked law to try and save lives. Yep, lives ! The lawmakers though, never seem to complete the circle. Now, everybody gets to hate the cops because they pulled you over for having a cell phone in your hand. What other crime?  You mean there's more important crime than this? Absolutely ! Our tax dollars are hard at work taking the time of our police away from more important things. Soon, they'll ban putting on makeup in the car (you haven't seen this?), eating while driving, (I've done this), and grabbing your significant others ass ! - Hmm- I wonder how they would enforce that one?

The real question is, should you talk on the cell, eat, put on make-up, or whatever while driving ? The obvious answer is no. We've all done it, but the answer is no. Concentrate on driving the friggen car.  Should their be a law ? No. Why waste time. Why use up public safety officers to catch the bad cell phone or ass grabbing driver.  We all know what's right. Even those cell phone addict teens that talk so much they may have found an alternative fuel- their mouths- know what's right.

Now you're probably asking "What about saving the lives?".  Save your own life- use your head.  How much mothering do you want the government to do? Statistics show that hand free devices don't help that much when your mind is on something other than driving. Get off the phone. Remember when there were no cell phones? You got by then.  Pull off the road if it's so damn important. Let 'em leave a voicemail.  I don't how most people even get things done, they're on the cell phone so much.

Now insurance companies probably want these laws because it might save just one life. But believe me they're worried about the cash payout, not the life. Seat belts save lives, and now that everyone wears one, did your premiums go down? Some bureaucrats want the law, again because more fines equal more revenue. Overall, the thought is good , but passing a law for any of this stuff will be more of a pain then its worth.  If we're gonna pass laws to saves lives on the road, try making cars safer. Try keeping idiots from getting a license. You know what I mean. How difficult is it to use some common sense?